My secret superpower

I heard a sermon once that it's main line was "what if our inward emotions matched our outward appearance".  Up until very recently I thought I was doing ok at my emotions, but then I realized, like Bruce Banner in the Avengers...I'm always angry.

I have this anger inside of me that I've probably had since birth. I'm angry at everyone and everything.I am angry at my mother and the way she criticizes every action or thought I have. I am angry at my father for never really being there. I am even angry at my sister in law for holding a grudge over something that doesn't even include her (the irony of holding a grudge against someone holding a grudge is not lost, I promise). I am angry at myself for all the decisions that have failed. I am angry at myself for listening to my mother's criticisms and not my own voice. I am angry at myself and my decision to hide my feelings through food. I am even angry at God. I am angry at His decision to take people I care about out of my life, I am angry at His decision to not give me what I desire. I am angry at life for the situations and struggles I was given. But my most important anger is that I am angry at myself for always being so damn angry.

I hold this tiny part of me that wishes my anger could be used as a superpower. Save lives and get the boy hehe, but mostly I know that this anger is holding me back; in life, in love, in every choice I make, this anger is crippling me. So from now until eternity I'm not holding back. I promise to always express my anger, whether though telling you, telling this blogger world, or taking it out with some target practice at the local shooting range. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem...so here's to the next step.